in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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