even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
This is my life. Enjoy the view
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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