Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
