An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
