i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
