a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
