u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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