I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
