We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
