For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
