check it out our google latitudes are spooning
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
