im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
