I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize