Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
