none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
