I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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