Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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