You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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