I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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