Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
When did angry sex become our thing?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
