Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
