yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
