ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
