i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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