I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize