they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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