I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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