you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
