id be glad to
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
