I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
