Swine flu. Run for my life!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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