Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just gargled with NyQuil
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize