It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
