I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
