he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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