I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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