I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
