oh god the rape fog is back!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
