life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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