Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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