Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
