We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think we might need a safe word for this...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
