I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize