On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
