the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
