Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
