420 ftw
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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