smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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