Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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