I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
