We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Randomize
