Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize