i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just found puke in my bra..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
