dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize